Humans and strange behaviours

Isn’t it funny how we as humans are prone to strange behaviour and guilty feelings?

Take me for example – I’ve been booked off for 6 weeks because of my spinal surgery, and I’ve been feeling depressed these last 2 days – and I’ve been thinking that it’s maybe because of cabin fever and I can’t really go anywhere yet (you can only watch so much TV or sleep so much)… my back still gives me some pains, but I can walk (uncomfortably) and all that – not allowed to sit though. But I actually thought about it this morning, and think that I am actually depressed because I feel guilty that I am not at work. It’s the strangest thing – because I am actually doing some work at home right now – busy testing the changes that were implemented for my client in Abu Dhabi, and I’m feeling better. But bet your bottom dollar that I’ll feel off again later this week when I don’t have work to do. And it’s not that I should feel like that – I should be lying in bed at home recovering…

It’s just strange how our minds work and that something such as sick leave can make a person feel guilty because they are not at work. And this isn’t the first time that I’ve actually felt bad about being sick. There have been many times I’ve actually been sick, but don’t want to take sick leave because I’m worried about all the work that backs up at the office…

We’re creatures of habit – and when something serious comes along (like spinal surgery) it’s actually pretty difficult to switch off from work – because for me, it feels like I’m letting people at the office down because I’m unavailable. And the only reason that I’m actually doing work at the moment is because I am one of the key figures on this project – I wrote the specifications and I was supposed to fly to Abu Dhabi to give the training next week – but now I must do knowledge transfer…

I know there are people out there that can switch off without a care in the world regarding work when they’re sick, but I think in the industry of IT, it’s not that easy because of the environment we work in and the type of commitment and work ethic that people have.

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